


like brothers on a hotel bed

by daisuga



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: I'm so sorry, M/M, but this had been in my mind for days, im loading up the tajihana tag holy fuck im, more medicine books and more oh my god why, operation: break the tajima, there are a lot of tears and medicine books pushed into this fic, this is almost a draft im so fucking sorryn i will fix it after exams..............
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-07
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-10 22:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2042826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisuga/pseuds/daisuga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm sorry," He started, and sounded like he really was. "there's no cure for it."</p><p>In Tajima's head, there's a sharp, bitter laugh that sounded like his own.</p><p>The room felt more suffocating than anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like brothers on a hotel bed

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd and still all over the place, sorry!! ;; A;;;

The first time it bared its fangs was when he had that fever.

It was spring and he's stuck in his house, his dog on his bed. He's alone, having convinced the others that it's just fever (which is stupid because he should've gone to school despite the fever, they have a practice game today). He can handle himself.

He slid out of the bed with a groan, dizzy and disoriented. He wants to play baseball. He wants to see Hanai. 

He staggered to the bathroom, bring his heavy arms up to stretch. He went over the sink, washed his face and checked his reflection. After closing the tap, He moved to go out of the bathroom.

And he froze. 

His eyes widened, and his hands shook. He tried to move his hands away from the tap, but it didn't. It didn't even feel like his hands were one with his body. He considered yelling, but he breathe through his nose, fear in heart, and swallowed. He tried to open his hands.

It did.

Shaken, he slowly walked to his bed, sat down and stared at them until his ringtone took him out of his stupor.

* * *

 

The issue remained a secret to everyone. He carried on after, trying to forget what happened--and the feeling of a part of your body not following, as if they're not a part of you at all. And he almost did, until it happened the second time. 

Runner on third--that's him, on that practice game, and he was ready, he swore to god that he was ready to run, and it was even better because they called a walk--a walk-off homerun is what it is--and he flushed with glee, turning his body and taking a step forward--

Only to not do that at all. He stood there, legs frozen, and he looked down on them, eyes vivid with confusion before the familiarity of the situation caught up on him, and he hates it, and he tried again and again to move his legs, but they won't budge, and his hands were clenched. 

"Tajima!" 

He looked up to the source of the voice and saw Hanai, already in the dugout, calling over him. He raised his hand to wave.

"Hold on!" He forced a grin and prayed with all his might for his legs to move--

And breathe a sigh of relief when they did.

* * *

 

"What happened?" Hanai asked, later, when they were all changed and ready to go home. Tajima shrugged, but clenched his hands inside his pockets. Hanai hummed and walk side by side with him, before saying, "If anything happens, let me know, okay?"

The freckled boy rolled his eyes and bumped his shoulder against the captain, smiling playfully, "Yes, dad."

Hanai groaned and he laughed, despite that small prickle of fear in his heart.

* * *

 

It happened again and again, and it's even getting progressively worse. It's been harder to hide, and with the random intervals, he feels vulnerable and scared. By the time he tripped over his sister's medical books because of suddenly feeling his knees go weak, he already felt like crying.

"Oi, Yuuichirou!" Ayu groaned, picking up her books that are scattered all around him. "Watch it!"

When the younger Tajima didn't answer, she stopped her movements and looked at him. His hands were shaking, and she can see that her muscles are stiff even without touching it. But she did, just to confirm it. Stiff. Cold. "Yuu?"

"I can't move," He croaked out, and she felt her heart skip a beat.

"What?"

* * *

 

_Spinocerebellar Ataxia._

He can't even pronounce its name, let alone hear it. In the room with four siblings and his mom, along with the doctor, his hands shaking inside his pockets and legs bobbing up and down, he felt sicker than ever. His sisters held his shoulder and the doctor is still speaking.

"It's still in the early stages. We still need to run tests, to know what type it is. He seems to have experienced some symptoms already--"

"But," Yuuichirou interrupted, eyes wide, though his voice is softer than usual. Everyone looked at him, and he quivered, somehow knowing what the answer would be to his question, but he went through it anyway--dug his grave. "how will it be cured?"

The hands on his shoulder tightened. 

The doctor cleared his throat, flabbergasted for a second. He looked around the room, helplessly, before deciding that being blunt is how it always should be when it comes to the Tajimas.

"I'm sorry," He started, and sounded like he really was. "there's no cure for it."

In Tajima's head, there's a sharp, bitter laugh that sounded like his own.

The room felt more suffocating than anything.

* * *

 

It was not announced to the club.

Rather, what was announced was that Hanai will be batting for fourth and Tajima will be sitting out, and everyone look at the freckled boy in concern, and Hanai looked like he was torn between feeling happy and feeling depressed. Mihashi walked over to him and stuttered, but he just fondly ruffled his head and donned a grin on his lips, raising a thumbs up to the team.

"Don't worry, I'll be cheering for you guys!"

Hanai opened his mouth to say something, but Momoe quickly intervened, concerned with Tajima. She had so many questions, and this was her boy they were talking about--the pride of Nishiura. Sure, his mother informed her already of her son's condition. Sure, there was a lot of "is this just a joke" thoughts. But she still felt like she needs to talk to him. 

"Alright!" She clapped her hands, "Go and start your practice. Tajima, let me talk to you for a while."

There's a loud "Yes!" despite them not-so discreetly eyeing Tajima, worry in their eyes. Abe requested to talk with Momoe after, clearly ready to groan about the seemingly unreasonable decision of letting the prodigy sit down a game. Momoe waved him off, telling him that she'll just call him after the talk with Tajima.

"Tajima."

"Yes, Momokan?"

The boy smiled at her, and she saw him clench his fist before opening it again. "Is this okay with you?"

A pause.

"It's not like I have any other choice," His voice came out as something like a whisper and his smile turned into something bitter. He looked down to his hands. "I'll only drag them down, seeing as I'm..."

He exhaled loudly, and Momoe just blinked at him. 

"I'll be fine!"

She just stared, and he offered a smile. When she didn't reply, he showed her his hands and looked down, again, hiding his face.

"...Please. I can't do anything properly everytime now. The best I can do is my observations, but soon..."

He sounded so mature, so unlike Tajima that Momoe felt like Tajima will just suddenly burst out laughing. She looked down to double-take, but heard a soft "huh?" from behind Tajima. And the latter apparently heard it too, because he straightened up and quickly looked behind him. 

Nothing moved for a while, long enough for Momoe to think that maybe they just imagined it, but Tajima wheezed out something that should've been a laugh.

"Abe," He called out, and the catcher slowly emerged from the wall he's been hiding from. Abe just stared at him and Tajima gave him a soft smile. "You heard everything, huh?"

For a while, Abe didn't know what to do. He looked at Momoe for help, but the coach looked just as lost as him. "...Yeah."

"Okay," was the reply, and they all just stared at one another.

Tajima breathed out. In, out.

Repeat.

"Okay."

* * *

 

"When will I die?"

"You won't," Ayu said, holding him as he wobbled over to the kitchen. He fell down while walking towards it, his legs suddenly feeling like it’s not his anymore.

“I will,” he said, sitting on the stool with much effort. Ayu started up the stove, and he looked at his hands.

Clench. Unclench. 

"Not soon."

He looked up at his sister, who muttered that softly and ceased moving. He stayed silent.

"Hopefully not soon," She said again, looking at him. She smiled, helplessly, and she looked like she was about to cry.

The younger Tajima smiled back in the same manner, but looked like he's sorry with what he's about to reply.

"I'd rather die sooner."

* * *

It took Hanai five days to get it out of Abe, two to interrogate the coach and one to corner Tajima.

The first thing that came out of his mouth is "Why?"

And the only thing Tajima did was give him a water smile, eyes glassy, and a feeble response of "I don't know."

* * *

"My legs," Tajima said outloud, as he and Momoe watched the practice that day, "can still somehow work. I think I could help them in practice."

"Absolutely not," Momoe said, crossing her arms and looking down at the kid. Tajima, to her, is like her own son now, with how much she dote over him (along with Abe, sometimes, that turned the heads of some members). Of course, neither of them could match Hanai's concern and dedication--walking him home, sometimes letting him on his bike as he pedals, and the constant asking of "are you okay". Tajima didn't seem to mind. Both of them doesn't, either.

"I love Nishiura," he said, standing up. "and I love baseball! Please, Momokan! Even as a catcher!"

"No means no, Tajima," She paused, faltering with what she's about to say, but she needs to say it and he needs to hear it. "When you...go, we'll be like a mouthful of teeth that will receive a prominent gap. Even if you help Hanai with his pitching as a catcher, when you leave, no one will be able to get used to being his catcher easily. Him, too. He'll be conditioned with you."

She breathe in, hands in fists as she hoped that that didn't come out as something harsh.

But true to his nature as being unpredictable, Tajima mulled over it, sat down, and watched silently. 

She turned into the field.

That night, she cried.

* * *

 

"I love you." 

Hanai blurted out, as they lay cocooned underneath Tajima's bed, his face pressed so close near Tajima. He shifted to envelope his arms around him, and Tajima snuggled into him.

"Me too."

"I love you."

He kissed him. Then his forehead. Then his nose, and then he's just kissing anything that is Tajima, murmuring "I love you" again and again, until the latter cupped his face and looked deep into his eyes.

"Asuza," he said, slowly, "you're crying."

Hanai just stared at him. He softly smiled. "Why are you crying?"

Then Hanai just dipped his head down, tears falling on Tajima's hair and forehead, and his sobs are out of control now, and he thought  _how embarrassing_ but he can't stop, not when he can feel their time dropping, not when he's so in love with someone who just might be an angel, coming in his life, changing everything, taking his heart, just to go out, and just--

"Asuza," Tajima murmured, closing his eyes and kissing him. "Asuza. I love you."

He just held Tajima tighter, shaking, and drowned in the sound of his voice.

* * *

 

"How can you take this so calmly?"

Abe asked that while prepping for his turn in the practice match. Tajima looked at him and he elaborated, "I thought you'd be the type who'll always cry about it and how much you're losing everything."

Tajima just hummed and said, "That's you, Abe, not me."

The catcher twitched, but willed himself that this is Tajima, with a disease that's basically eating his nerves that he's talking to, who looks unnervingly calm and collected. Berating him with his usual barrage of loud voice won't only make him feel worse (probably) but also send the #9 of NIshiura wanting to beat him up (definitely).

"Okay, but still, you're kind of freaking me out. You handle this as if it's just a normal injury," he stood up and fixed his leg guards, looking over to Tajima, then to where Tajima is looking at--Hanai. "you're not even treating this as an injury. You reacted worse after that game with Tousei."

There was a brief pause, and Hanai hit a homer. The remaining members cheered, sans Abe and Tajima.

Tajima smiled. It looked bitter, for a while, then softened. 

"Things just feel different when you know you might die soon."

* * *

His mother opened his door to find him crying over his baseball bat.

"Oh, Yuu."

She gathered him into her arms, and he just sobbed, and Miwako felt herself crying as well.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

Tajima just shook his head.


End file.
